Did having a gay child change your thinking

By the time your child comes out as gay to you, they have processed their thoughts and feelings about their sexual orientation for years. They have observed and analyzed their every experience. Many of the straight parents I interviewed for When Your Child Is Gay: What You Need To Know expressed having felt disappointment in learning that their child was LGBT. It was as if they were. So, your kid told you they were gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or a member, in some way, of the LGBTQ+ community.

For many parents, this can be a difficult brain-shift.

What not to say when your child comes out

Parents of gay children may be shocked when their kids come out of the closet, but once the dust settles, most parents realize that their child is the same one they have loved and cared for all their lives, they just happen to be gay. Two years after their child “comes out” as lesbian, gay or bisexual (LGB), many parents still say that it is moderately or very hard for them to adjust to the news.

Tobkes, who is in private practice in Manhattan, do not expect their child to be gay. The gay child has most likely gone through the same issues that you are now experiencing: denial, fear, guiltshameangerloss, to arrive at acceptance. But how? Being gay was not part of that plan and this fact was hard to reconcile. Do I Need Help?

I always considered myself a liberal. Gay children are no different—so little of their sexual orientation has to do with who they are as a whole. Click the graphic for interactive partisan trends on support for same-sex marriage. But the balance of opinion differs based on the wording of the question.

Richard Ogawa of Seattle figured out he was gay in college. She was upset, as she regarded his orientation as a choice. When I interviewed straight parents for When Your Child Is Gay, they used words such as fearshock, helplessness, stressand extreme sadness to describe their experiences with denial. Fortunately, psychology is keeping up, uncovering new ways to maintain mental and physical health, and positivity and confidence, through manageable daily habits like these.

More from Psychology Today. Wise guidance and caring support is especially invaluable during the early stages of this crisis.

Parenting a Gay Child | Psychology Today

Be careful to consult well-informed sources who seek and honor the full counsel of Scripture. Report Materials. March 28, March 20, Tobkes identifies three losses that parents are grieving and notes that "a preconceived wish may be at the heart of the loss. About the Author. My own feelings of loss were associated with our son James, once out, now being a member of a minority group.

Self Tests are all about you. View Help Index. Are you a narcissist? Richard told me, "Perhaps if every parent toyed with the possibility that any of their children could be gay, it would change the way they raise their children. Not only did a therapist help me ultimately communicate better with my son, but also I got conversation starters from such books as Always My Child, by Kevin Jennings, Ph. As with other attitudes about LGBT Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender people, younger generations remain substantially more accepting—and have grown more so over time.

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